Question 10 - Does your man play cards or games?

Abby: This question first came up because I happen to love games. It's a tradition in my family to play something when we get together, so I thought it was important to have a man how would fit right in. I had exes that didn't play games and it was awkward. I didn't realize how lucky I was that I picked a man who plays.

When you have kids, you need a man who enjoys playing games with them. Monopoly can save a rainy day. More importantly, it means you're more likely to grow old together. Evidence suggests that people who spend stretches of their days engrossed in mental activities like cards may be at reduced risk of developing dementia. Hard to believe I'm suggesting you pick a man now who's more likely to be lucid when he's old, but you might only get one shot at this, so pick wisely.

Francesca: The way a man plays a game can say a lot about them. Does he get angry when he loses or isn’t doing well? Does your man feel comfortable enough with you to let his guard down and just play a recreational game without severe competitiveness or does everything have to be a competition? Pay attention to the behavior demonstrated when your man plays a game to get a better sense of what he’s all about. It might sound silly but “true colors” come out during the strangest scenarios.

For me, games are a distraction, a reason not to clean, a time to zone in on “family fun” even if it only lasts 5-10 minutes before the kids starting fighting again. Maybe it’s just a taste of what life used to be like pre-kids and even pre-marriage when you were dating when most everything you did was for fun.

I always like to shake hands with a person after a game is over whether I win or lose; I think it’s a sign of good showmanship and respect for the other person. I swear that word “showmanship” reminds me of Paula Abdul on American Idol – the producers might have to spend hours or even days trying to figure out how many times she’s used that word! Red flags about your man are everywhere. Pay attention to small things like how he behaves when playing a game; it’s a hint at what else he might be competitive about.

I’ve always loved playing games whether it’s a simple game of “hangman” with my daughter, “Trouble” which is our favorite family game, or Scrabble with my man. But I have to tell you, my man takes game playing to a whole other level. I am actually afraid to win; he’s not necessarily a “sore loser” but his intensity and competitiveness can really take away from the joy of a simple game. You can’t blame a person for wanting to win but when you’re talking about playing “Trouble” with your 5 year old and your man is give strategic advice to him while planning his next move, it could dampen what you want to get out of the whole point of playing a game.