Question 5 - Do you tolerate things because your man is so hot?

Abby: We all enjoy the eye candy and being the object of envy when we’re out with a hot man. Unfortunately, those feel good times can cause us to overlook things that would be deal breakers for the average man. A hot man can cause us to sway from our values or allow ourselves to be treated with less respect than we deserve. And so often, we know we’re doing it! We feel grateful to have been picked by a hot man and we don’t want to rock the boat.

When I was in college, I was dating the catch of the campus. He was starring as Hamlet and was the talk of the town. Needless to say, our relationship evolved into me being a girlfriend of convenience. As his stardom grew, so did the number of girls. And I knew it. But I stuck with him, even when a girl would come to his door at midnight! How was I showing myself any respect? I put up with it for far too long, all because he was hot.

A man will rarely change his stripes, so be aware that anything you overlook now will need to be overlooked for your entire marriage. For example, if you're not willing to be shown less respect for the next 30 years, then your hot man isn't Mr. Right. So, the moral to the story is...a hot man is not marriage material just because he’s hot. That’s a bonus when he passes the test!

Francesca: I do it and it’s a very poor habit to get into. Once you set the tone for this he’s going to figure it out and play on it. Human nature says most will do whatever they can get away with. Also referred to as pushing the envelope, taking a yard when you’re given an inch and plain old taking advantage!

It also depends on what phase of the relationship you’re in. The more kids you have the more looks fade because you don’t really have time or patience for the once so-called charm your hot man would use to get away with things. In the beginning of our relationship, my man’s hotness was the end-all. I wanted him because he was hot, I thought whatever he did was right because he was hot, I accepted all of his flaws (my attention was diverted away from because once again, he was hot) and so on and so forth.

Now be clear on this, my man, 20 years later, continues to be hot and has an extremely high hotness level of which I am certain many women would attest. I still tolerate a lot of his crap because he’s hot, but the time and patience for things I once tolerated has dwindled down. In hindsight, I shouldn't have allowed it at all.