Question 4 - Are you embarrassed to walk into a room with your man?

Abby: I had never really thought that much about looks being an important characteristic in choosing a man. I figured that if I had chemistry, something must be appealing, even if he wasn’t traditionally good-looking.

That all changed one day when I was walking into a party with an ex and was embarrassed. I was embarrassed because this ex was petite. I could fight him, and win. It was at that moment that I knew that I had a height requirement. I had to be honest with myself and respect that I was innately more attracted to a man that was between 5’10 and 6’2 (I’m petite myself). I would always be embarrassed to be seen with him because he wasn’t getting any taller.

That criteria doesn’t work for everyone. I don’t think you truly know what your instincts say until you feel embarrassed to walk into a room because of your man’s appearance. You might feel that way about hair, weight, nose, whatever. But when you know, you know. And you shouldn’t ignore it. What you find embarrassing will not change. Who wants to live with a lifetime of not wanting to be seen with your man?

Francesca: Are you kidding? One of the reasons I married him in the first place because he was (and still is) eye candy. I am an extremely vain person so I couldn’t have it any other way but to look forward to walking into a room with my man. If this isn’t a “red flag” what is? If I could tell a computer to generate for me exactly what I wanted my man to look like and the type of aura he gives off it would be my man!

Now there are huge sacrifices in selecting a man based on looks and a cocky attitude and believe me, I’ve paid (and am paying) the price for this. Would I recommend it? No. Did I do it? Yes. My man can walk into a room and command authority. He is an initiator and dominator of conversations. To me, this is very sexy.

Of course, he has faults just like anyone else and being with someone above average looking usually comes with a price. There are studies that show good-looking people have more problems, probably because they have more choices in life and I’m not saying that this is right or wrong – it just is. We know what kind of society we live in. Susan Boyle is a great example of the stereotyping associated with looks and demeanor. Bottom line, if you are embarrassed to walk into a room with your man, huge red flag and he will know it and feel it but may ignore it to avoid rejection.