Question 8 - Do you have a hobby that you do as a couple?

Abby: Experts say that shared challenges and exciting diversions are what make relationships hot long after the wedding gown has been packed up and stored away. And the opposite, boredom and a dull, daily routine, can kill a marriage, squashing intimacy and romance. Researchers find that bored spouses had a higher tendency to divorce. Since you're trying to determine if you're man is Mr. Right, this is something you should consider.

My man and I discovered this one long ago when we watched his parents become so involved in their own hobbies that they grew apart from each other. We determined that we would make sure we continued to do a hobby together throughout our lives. For us, we ballroom dance. We have to juggle our schedules to fit it in, but we do it.

Once, when I was considering quitting because we were too busy, my man said,"If we quit now, I think we'll regret it in five years." That stopped me in my tracks and I knew he was right. Now, every time it feels like too much, we think about how we would feel about our decision in a few years. It keeps us at it. Given that even after all these years of lessons, we still aren't very good, we need to keep at it!

Francesca: I've developed a love for cooking because my man is Italian and I knew if I was going to stay with him I would have to be a good cook. This is coming from a half Polish-half Italian girl who was actually raised by a Jewish family!

The reason I bring this up is because from a practical perspective it would be great if you and your man either already have or veer toward a hobby that will benefit your family if you're planning to have one. Cooking with my man is pretty cool even if he does take the credit when it comes out great. For those of you following Francesca and her man you know this is exactly what happens. Your entire family gets to benefit from your great food so your hobby becomes a win-win.

My only recommendation is to limit the amount of time you spend with your man on your hobby because too much of anything is no good plus it makes it special when you do find the time. I use the "I don't have time" reason for a lot of things but I can't see how a couple having a hobby together could push you apart unless you become a competitive jerk in which case whatever you're doing would no longer be considered a hobby! Don't make your man's hobby yours though.