Question 15 - Are you settling for your man because you're afraid to lose the time you've invested?

Abby: This happens more frequently than not. People are scared to be alone, scared to start over, scared there’s nothing better out there. But that’s just stupid. If you settle, and you know you’re settling, all that will happen is that you’ll end up divorced in a few years. Eventually it will get to you. You will discover that you are worth more than settling.

I dated a man for several years, knowing the whole time that he was not Mr. Right. We lived together, traveled the world, participated in family events together. Everyone assumed we would get married. But I knew we wouldn’t. I needed him while we were together, but knew that eventually I’d be strong enough to stand on my own and leave him. He was what I needed at that time in my life, but never once did I consider settling for someone that I knew wasn’t right for me just because it was convenient and I’d invested years with him.

Francesca: So many people do this! Chris Rock once said, "Life is not short, life is long!!!" Boy is he right. Don't EVER worry about how much time you have invested with your man because you can't get it back. What's done is done. Don't cry over spilt milk and any other phase you can think of that will convince you NOT to think this way. The time you've invested in your man DOESN'T MATTER. It never ever ever ever ever ever ever matters. That's like saying why strive for anything because I've spent all this time having nothing!!! People who accomplish things, move forward, achieve great success or have anything worth having don't get it with this attitude.

Listen I get it that there's something to be said for "wasting" your time but chalk it up to an experience. Chalk it up to if this never happened you wouldn't be who you are. But don't stay with your man because you feel like you have to because time is lost. It would have been lost anyway, you can't stop the clock. No one can.

The best thing to do is use the experience, LEARN from it and don't EVER forget what you've learned from it. Time gets away from you and it's so hard not to think this way. Of course, different situations warrant different action. If you have kids that may add lifeyears to the time you've already invested. Just don't let the mentality of staying BECAUSE you've invested so many years be the ultimate deciding factor.